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Negotiation

Point

& # 8220 ; Effective dialogue is non about struggle. It is non about aberrance or dishonesty. It is non about posturing, or intimidation, or endangering. Effective dialogue is about thorough readying, arrant lucidity, heartfelt communicating, and a sincere, demonstrated desire to to the full understand non merely your ain demands, but the demands of the other party. & # 8221 ; Leigh Stienberg: Wining with Integrity.

Reason

Does every thing in life revolve around negociating? Your relationship with household, friends, important other, school, church, work, does every thing have to be a negotiated? I feel the reply is of class & # 8220 ; Yes. & # 8221 ; I want to experience I get value for what I m passing, whether it is clip, endowment or money. As the remunerator I want the monetary value to drop and you as the payee want the monetary value to travel up and acquire every bit much as you can. We both want to hold a sense of accomplishment or motion. Reaching a trade reached between us is negociating. Sounds easy doesn T it. But the world is that every dialogue is nerve-racking and takes its toll on us.

When interrupting Negociating down into parts I came up with six of import classs to maintain in head.

Example

The first is to be prepared. Make your prep before you start negociating. Have a program and compose it down. Have a vision of where, when and how to put up for success. Don t expression at the little image of how to acquire an understanding reached for today s issues. Look at the large image. Where do I desire to be in 1, 3, 5, old ages don t give up something today that you might desire down the route. Identify and Prioritize your ends look for obstructions that are traveling to come up and be prepared for them wear t be blind-sided. Committedness is something that came up in my research and I feel is portion of being prepared. I had non even considered how of import this was to dialogues. I know that you can t negotiate forever and that it must come to an terminal. One of the analogies that came up was if an understanding International Relations and Security Network T reached you must cut off a finger. With the bets set that high I bet an understanding is more likely to be reached.

Research your opposition whether it s your foreman or major national history know what their ends are, look for the hot buttons that make them happy.

If you re negociating do certain your negociating with the right individual. Does this individual have the authorization to negociate and do the understanding stick? Never cut a trade with some 1 who has to & # 8220 ; travel back and acquire the foreman approval. & # 8221 ; Harvey Mackay Swim With the Sharks With out Being Eaten Alive. Travel up you oppositions ladder every bit high as you can make.

The Second is puting your ends and bounds. Set bounds before you negotiate. Knowing what your bounds are will let you to do more rapid determinations during the class of dialogues. BATNA? & # 8220 ; Your BATNA is your Best Alternate To a Negotiated Agreement & # 8221 ; I foremost read this term in Entrepreneurial Edge Magazine so I did some research and found it s beginning given to two different parties one being The Harvard Negotiating Institute and the other being. William Ury and Roger Fisher. Geting to Yes I believe the recognition goes to both because Ury and Fisher were portion of the Harvard Negotiating Project. Anyway what does BATNA truly mean ; it is the best manner to carry through your demands and involvements without the other s understanding.

Knowing your bounds gives you the strength and assurance to walk off when needed. Try and non endorse yourself into a corner with no manner out. Leave an option when of all time possible. Having set bounds are good but don Ts make the bottom line so inflexible that you can t review person s offer in a different visible radiation. Knowing when no trade is the best thing for you can be a difficult determination at times. What will go on if I can t make an understanding? Leting spell of the force per unit area for a trade may take to another trade down the route. Knowing when to angle or cut come-on is of import. & # 8220 ; There s ever another Deal around the corner. & # 8221 ; Nelson Bunker Hunt Your ends need to be weighted in footings of importance to you. What can you give in on and what can t you give in on are of import to cognize before you start.

Okay plenty with this BATNA material. I m a pessimist and what is the WATNA or Worst Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement. I started to research this on a caprice and found it does truly be. Of class leave it to attorneies to come up with the term. WATNA ( WATNA or Worst Alternative TO a Negotiated Agreement ) Young Lawyer American Bar Association For the attorney it is a tool to state his client non merely the best thing that can go on if an understanding International Relations and Security Network T range but besides the worst thing that ca go on.

Third was Listen with your ears and eyes. & # 8220 ; Listen & # 8221 ; is the one statement that stands out. First listening to yourself. In dialogues, listing can be more of import than how persuasive you are as a talker. The difference between naming and hearing is so of import. I need to be able to listen between the lines. To understand the significance of what is being said. Good hearing requires your entire attending. I need to non believe about anything other than what is being said at the clip. Leigh Steinberg tagged this a & # 8220 ; Zen-like attack to listing. & # 8221 ;

Active hearing is the term used most. It is listening with all the senses. I found in my reading on this that most accent was put on what I would prefer to name brooding hearing. That is when you repeat back to person or paraphrase what they say to clear up what they are stating. It has you actively take parting in the conversation. Don t think in front.

I don t feel adequate accent was given to the power of intuition and organic structure linguistic communication.

The interior voice that each of us has is a powerful tool. It is this interior voice that has saved me in the yesteryear and non listening to it has cost me a batch of clip and money. The interior voice International Relations and Security Network T interior critic that tells you how to judge person by how they look it is more of that intestine feeling, intuition or a intuition about something. It is the ability to inquire inquiries of your ego and merely listen to the reply and non coercing it one manner or the other. It is a subconscious province of head that controls this interior voice.

Body linguistic communication tells us so much and most of us pay small attending to it. In the book BodyTalk by Desmond Morris. He was speedy to indicate out that Body linguistic communication can change it s significance by state or gender. Example would be how close to stand to the other party when speaking to them. The reply varies by state and gender. In dialogues how the other individual crosses their legs or creases their weaponries can give you a good hint as to what is truly traveling on. How a individual sits in a chair places their custodies all this can assist give you an understanding to the whole image of what s traveling on. Don t believe every thing you see, merely as you shouldn t believe every thing that you hear. Use each portion as a hint. Using the amount of all the parts will give you the best apprehension. Don t bury your interior voice, listen to it.

Fourth is lucidity of your place. Clear communicating is the impudent side of effectual hearing. You can ne’er be to clear. Bing clear merely means when you speak, write, or other wise communicate, your hearer understands your intended message. Know what it is you are negociating for. Is it money, periphery benefits, quality of life, it says to first compose down your values and ends and so to prioritise them? Negociating bow silent persons had a technique call the & # 8220 ; P.R.E.P. & # 8221 ; . P.R.E.P. is to negociating as the 5 equestrians are to composing or news media. & # 8220 ; Who, what, when, where and why, & # 8221 ; The P.R.E.P. construct being & # 8221 ; Point, Reason, Example, Point, My point is The ground is My illustration is So, my point is & # 8221 ; this works for any presentation you make. It forces you to be organized and helps put out a expression for lucidity. I like it because acronyms are easy to retrieve and I like how it forces you to do you indicate twice in one presentation. If you make your point twice it s more likely that the listen

Er will understand what you re seeking to pass on.

To avoid struggle, inquire non merely & # 8220 ; What do they desire? But why do they desire it & # 8221 ; Steven P. Cohn. HARVEY MACKAY said to this point & # 8220 ; No 1 is traveling to demo you their hole card. You have to calculate out what they truly want. & # 8221 ; And with some irony he said, & # 8220 ; Since the existent ground is ne’er the existent ground, you can extinguish the given reason. & # 8221 ; Finding what they want may be harder than you think!

Fifth was emotional control. In dialogues I need to take my self-importance out of the dialogues. I need to remain composures and non respond to any words or physical menaces of bullying.

The best manner to maintain your emotional distance is through a technique called forcing the intermission button. Negociating for Dummies Said & # 8220 ; The first response in your caput need non come out of your oral cavity. You have a intermission button. When you push it, you realize that if you utter your first response, you won Ts acquire the occupation done and you may estrange the other party. ( Remember, friends come and travel ; enemies accumulate ) & # 8221 ; One piece of advice that was given is to force the intermission button on every petition for a grant. Treat every grant the same in holding importance. If you don t dainty it as being important you ll run the hazard of being perceived as non hold given anything! When covering in state of affairss that I have a strong emotional fond regard to, it is this intermission button that has been my Jesus in the yesteryear. Stoping to believe with my head non my bosom or emotions has saved me from doing a bad trade or adding to the list of enemies I have.

Steven P. Cohn President of The Negation Skills Company put had a different spin on this and it is & # 8220 ; Merely one individual is allowed to acquire angry at a clip & # 8221 ; and & # 8220 ; Shouting is non negotiation ; it s confrontation! & # 8221 ;

Leigh Steinberg broke down four basic negotiating manners.

The Dictator, These are people who frequently get their manner and feel they are superior and demo adamant behaviour ( I did hold to look up the word intransigent intending deficiency of ability to chair or compromise ) . They are augmentative and seek to pick apart every thing you say to devaluate your place. They tend to deny you your chance to do your presentation. To demilitarize this type of individual Stienberg suggest to halt and state the other party that you will let them every chance to talk when your finished and that you will non take their being soundless for consent or understanding of your point. .

The Screamer, This type of individual thinks losing your pique is a technique of negociating. They are seeking to intimidate you into endorsing down. Steinberg suggests that Silence demoing no response is the best manner to cover with this type. He points out that if you stay calm, the other individual will shout himself or herself out, the choler will be gone so you can get down to negociate once more. Don T be pulled into fring your pique and giving them fuel for their fire.

The Manipulator, They will state you how much better off you ll be with their offer. They are speedy to indicate out the life manner alterations that you can hold now that they are & # 8220 ; giving & # 8221 ; you this money. They are ever seeking to remain off from the existent issue and that is the value of the merchandise or serve your supplying. To battle this type you need to remain on the subject of what value you deserve for what you re supplying. Don t allow them discourse your personal state of affairs.

The Equivocator. I have to acknowledge that when I negotiate with some one I tend to be this type. I break down the proposal into smaller pieces and seek to acquire the other portion to hold to one piece at a clip. I look for one grant from them on the large points and I ll profess on the smaller 1s. I have to ever maintain my oculus on the large image and do certain I understand how all the pieces are traveling to come together as a whole. To cover with this type you need to trap them down particulars of their proposal. Make grants on the entire bundle non the pieces separately.

Knowing these different manners and being able to acknowledge what the individual utilizing them is seeking to carry through, I feel helps me be able to maintain my emotions under control and on top of what I m seeking to carry through.

Sixth is Win- Win Negotiating to come in a trade. The term & # 8220 ; Win Win & # 8221 ; is from the Book The Win-Win Negotiator by: Ross R. Reck and Brian G. Long The footing of the book is dialogue is non a game seeking to concentrate on a individual aim. It is about acquiring effectual long-run understanding that work and edifice relationships with the other party that last. Negociating with unity and non utilizing fast ones to acquire your manner.

Point

Steinberg s Twelve Rules in Negociating

1. Align yourself with people who portion your values.

1. Learn all you can about the other party.

2. Convert the other party you have an option.

3. Put your bounds before the dialogue begins ( BATNA ) .

4. Establish a clime of cooperation, non struggle.

5. In the face of bullying, show no fright.

6. Learn to listen.

7. Be comfy with silence.

8. Don t drama split the difference.

9. Stress your grants ; minimise the other party s.

10. Never push a losing statement to the terminal.

11. Develop relationships, non conquest.

In sum-up of how does this apply to me? It doesn t affair who or what I m negociating. I need to listen and understand the other parties point of view and what their demands are. Be prepared before I negotiate. I need to hold a clear thought of what my ends are. I have thought that & # 8220 ; In concern you merely acquire what you negotiate! Nothing of value is given to you. You need to gain it through difficult work and honest concern practices. & # 8221 ;

The one thing I have ever tried to make is to talk and negociate from a place of cognition and apprehension of what it is I m after. Know what you want and what you re willing to settle for before you negotiate with person ( BATNA ) . Know the personality of the individual your negociating with. Ask inquiries about the individual acquire as much information about how he negotiates before you enter the dialogues. Be prepared!

& # 8220 ; Effective dialogue is non about struggle. It is non about aberrance or dishonesty. It is non about posturing, or intimidation, or endangering. Effective dialogue is about thorough readying, arrant lucidity, heartfelt communicating, and a sincere, demonstrated desire to to the full understand non merely your ain demands, but the demands of the other party. & # 8221 ; Leigh Stienberg: Wining with Integrity.

Bibliography

Michael C. Donaldson and Mimi Donaldson. Negociating for Dummies

IDG Books Worldwide 1996

Roger Fisher and William Ury. Geting to Yes & # 8220 ; Negotiating Agreement without Giving In & # 8221 ;

Houghton Mifflin 1981

William Ury. Geting Past No & # 8220 ; Negociating with Difficult People & # 8221 ;

Bantam Books 1991

Desmond Morris. Body Talk & # 8220 ; The Meaning of Human Gestures & # 8221 ;

Crown Trade Paperbacks 1994

Digby Diehl.Leigh Steinberg Has A Game Plan

Entrepreneurial Edge Volume 4 1998

Steven P. Cohen The Negotiations Skills Company.

www.negotiationskills. com

Harvey Mackay Swim With the Sharks With out being Eaten Alive

Ballatine Books

David Hoffman The Young Lawyer

Copyright American Bar Association

Stephen R. Marsh Breaking Impasse

PBB @ nrc.gov copy right 1998

Covering With Difficult People and Difficult Situations

Center for Management Research Inc. copyright 1998

Eric C. Gould The Negotiation Resource Center Newsletter May 1998

Batna. Com right of first publication 1998

Susan H. Allen Nan Problem Solving Workshop

Institute for Conflict Analysis and Resolution, George Mason University 1997

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