Peer Review & Feedback of Business Ethics Assignment Essay Sample

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The subject chosen by the author is really relevant today. Illegal in-migration poses non merely as a societal job but as a human job every bit good. The author zeroes in on the different steps taken to turn to the job of in-migration. The author was able to come up with a nice article. However. he could hold done a more challenging article which could arouse more involvement from the readers.

Addressing the Issues of the Assignment

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In order to truly turn to the chief issue papers. the intent of the paper must be clear. above all. The writer’s purpose or purpose must be grasped by the readers in the first few paragraphs in order to set up connexion with the article.

The author mentioned the issue of illegal in-migration. However. he could hold expounded more on the issue so that the readers would be able to link with the article’s chief issue: stopping illegal in-migration. A paragraph or two will do to give readers a general feel of illegal in-migration. This in bend would ensue to a better apprehension of the chief issue.

However. the author made a good occupation in covering with the chief issue by naming down the ways by which the province has tried to command the issue of illegal in-migration. He elucidated the author’s ( Hanrahan ) thoughts and his ideas good that the issue of halting illegal in-migration surfaced in the papers.

Argumentative Force & A ; Coherence

The author made positive imprints by admiting what the writer has written. He interpreted Hagrahan’s words based on how he understood it. The author analyzed each ground. seeking to capture every bit much as possible what the writer meant. He interjected his ain thoughts and ideas after each ground. By making so. he slightly reinforced the Hagrahan’s impression by confirming it. The writer’s statement or stand frequently coincided with Hagrahan’s. Most of the clip. he simply ascribed to the grounds provided by Hanrahan.

The statement in the article could hold stood out more clearly if the author tried to examine deeper more in his analysis of Hagrahan’s statements.

For coherency. the author tried to show his analyses consequently.

Organization & A ; Structure

Critical thought was the focal point of the first paragraph of the first article. At first glimpse. a reader might believe that it is the primary focal point of the article. Two beginnings were cited in the first paragraph entirely. The article’s flow all of a sudden took bend when the 2nd paragraph came in. There was no proper passage from the first paragraph to the 2nd the 2nd 1. The relationship of paragraph one to paragraph two was non basically bridged. The connexion between critical thought and Hanrahan’s article was non mentioned. or even implied.

Hanrahan’s claim on the apprehension of illegal employers was non intricately emphasized ; but the article went on to place the seven grounds for his statement. The overview of argumentative force. analysis and decision followed.

The author sagely numbered Hanrahan’s statements and analyzed them point by point. By picking on the issue one by one. the author was able to form his ideas and analysis ; hence. a logical construction in the analysis. This made the analysis easier to follow and understand.

The conclusion-as always- came last in the article. The decision contained the writer’s base on the statement. He stated his resistance to Haranhan’s claim. saying the ground of deficient support on punishing employers of illegal workers.

The construction of the article provided a model for the author to show his thoughts. Merely the first two paragraphs did non link. making an disconnected alteration in the flow of thoughts.

Support & A ; Development

As reflected in the article. the author chiefly depended on Haranhan’s work. The author backed the analysis up with personal observation and reading. He critiqued Haranhan’s words and sentiments but provided no farther mentions to beef up his place. A figure of mentions will do the article an in-depth survey on halting illegal in-migration.

Style & A ; Tone

The writer’s tone is more personal than professional. This is reflected in his usage of the first individual manner of composing. It seemed that he wrote his article for a general audience. Yet. his manner and tone complemented his article ; doing his article cross spreads and make its mark readers.

Syntax & A ; Format

There are a few syntax mistakes on verb use. This seems to be common among authors utilizing the first individual manner.

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