I joined Eclairs Molders in 2003 instantly after I finished my surveies. I had been attached to the organisation for more than 3 months during my field fond regard. Therefore I had a anterior cognition of the organisation and had interacted with several people. When they considered my application for a occupation. I was happy to fall in an organisation which I had the values oriented towards outcome accomplishment and had a high grade of people orientation. I was now portion and package of the organisation. When I joined the organisation. I was lucky since I was put under the same section that I had served earlier.

I was under the same supervisor who had supervised me during my field fond regard. I did non hold to be oriented much in the organisation civilization and other facets of its operation since I had gone through the same socialisation procedure before. But there was one individual who had oriented me in the organisation and who remained relevant to me even after I joined the organisation for work. That was the secretary in the Production section where I was assigned as an helper director. She was still relevant to me as she showed me how I had to get down my work and settled in my occupation.

With clip we became really near to one another. This was to stop up in romantic relationship. In the development of our relationship. we had undergone the full Knapp’s relationship escalation theoretical account. I still retrieve the induction phase of our relationship when I was directed to her office where she would point me to the organisation. The first 10 to 15 seconds were spent cognizing about each other. There was a common attractive force that developed between us that clip as we observed each other’s visual aspect and manners.

Our experimental stage was marked by the uninterrupted interaction that we has as I worked with her counsel. I had a batch of uncertainnesss about her although I felt more attracted to her. I had to utilize several schemes in order to cut down this degree of uncertainnesss. Under the uncertainness decrease theory it took on actives and synergistic schemes in order to larn more about her. This helped me to derive cognition and understanding about her. In active schemes. I enquired about her from her friends and besides put up several state of affairss under which I would detect her closely like asking a batch about work from her.

In the synergistic schemes. I talked with her most of the clip frequently brining in other subjects non related to work so that I would understand her more. Though our relationship remained at this stage when I was in my field fond regard it dramatically changed its class when I started working in the company. Although I was assigned another secretary I would still trust on her most of the clip and she was besides supportive to point my secretary to her work. We developed a liking for each other and she would pass some of her clip in my office sometimes with no official fond regard but merely chew the fating with one another.

We sure that our relationship had to travel beyond concern relationship but there was a sense of love affair in the air. Our relationship grew and reached the intensification period. At this clip we were closer with one another and we disclosed that were wanted to from a permanent romantic relationship. We knew that it would be difficult for us to run in the work topographic point as lovers but we had to our best in order to maintain our relationship turn overing. Self revelation was an of import facet that helped to cement our relationship. We developed from the concealed window glass to the unfastened window glass of Johari window as we opened ourselves to one another.

We came to understand our characters and helped each other to understand their characters as good. By undergoing several Windowss we were able to cognize each other. Common revelation helped us to cognize each other good and the trust in our relationship deepened. Following the societal incursion theory. we undertook several patterns in order to derive intimacy in our relationship. This helped our relationship to come on from superficial to adumbrate. Self revelation was an of import factor in this theory that helped our relationship to turn.

We gave wagess from clip to clip. We all strived to accomplish each others satisfaction to assist derive stableness in our relationship. At first I was non willing to disclosure myself to her. But with clip she started unwraping herself and our trust grew. Harmonizing other norm of reciprocality. I had to unwrap myself to her since she had already disclosed herself to me. I found out that she felt better when I disclosed myself to her since she was able to cognize me good. In the intensifying stage we were able to unwrap our love to one another.

Our relationship grew and we found ourselves with each other most of the clip. At tea interruption. she would be at my desk while I found myself come ining the manager’s office more than office merely to wages by her and recognize her. Most of the workers around particularly the director and my secretary started observing that there was a turning relationship between us. We would travel for tiffin together. Slowly we started incorporating with tone another. No 1 wanted to travel for tiffin or travel place entirely. After work. we would travel to her house and we would hold supper together.

We started caring for one another. We were like one individual. Mine was hers and hers was mine. With were merely inseparable. Most of the clip we had to do personal forfeit in order to suit each other. We involved several pro-social schemes in order to derive via media with one another behaviour. Like in any other relationship. we had to do forfeits to suit the other. We made a batch of promises to one another in order to derive conformity. We expressed our positive and negative feelings in order to derive conformity with one another.

This helped to construct our relationship more and swear each other more. Harmonizing to the Relationship Dialectics theory every bit far as connectedness-separateness is concerned with had to do a batch of personal forfeit in our liberty for the interest of our relationship. It is non that we did non see struggle in our relationship but most of clip we had to accommodation scheme in order to get the better of our struggles. Many times we accommodate each other but sometimes we had to compromise on a state of affairs when it became excessively hard for us to happen a solution to the job.

Other clip we had to join forces with one another in order to happen a reciprocally and wholly satisfactory solution of our struggle in a win-win state of affairs. At this phase of our relationship. we were certain that we needed each others in our life. Our parent started supercharging us to acquire married and remain together. We though that we had the most romantic relationship on Earth. We besides felt the same demand to acquire married and remain together. But there were other factors that we had to take into consideration before puting down for our matrimony.

We considered the fact that we had to take clip to construct ourselves and our relationship before make up one’s minding to acquire married. It was feverish at work to maintain our relationship turn overing. It was still more hard to remain in the same section yet in different offices. I found myself deputing most of my secretary responsibilities to my girlfriend and it was apparent that she was non boding good with it. The director besides felt that her secretary was being overburdened to manage his order and my orders every bit good. In most instances. it was my girlfriend who delegated her work to my secretary.

It was like I had assumed her being and her functions ( West and Turner 2000. p. 32 ) . However we did our best to pull off our relationship. We had to put clip to be together and clip to remain at work and transport out our responsibilities. Most of the clip the director complained we were non acquiring serious with our work and we seemed to value our relationship more than our work. These were some of the troubles that we had expected from the imploring when we decided to be together. Therefore we had to do a batch of forfeits and committedness most of our clip to our work instead than our relationship. But our relationship was non to remain for long.

The more it became apparent to coworkers that we were in love. the more it became hard for us to manage our relationship. There were a batch of struggles that we were able to travel through but others became gluey with clip. It was merely one of such struggles between keeping our relationship and transporting out our responsibilities as required that made our relationship hard to go on with. The struggle As an adjunct production director. I handled most of the entrance production orders from the gross revenues squad. I had to vet those order and make up one’s mind the one which had to be produced first before the others.

The work of the director was merely of authorise the production of the orders. Therefore I acted as the chief nexus between the sale section and the production section. On the other manus my secretary and my girlfriend who was the secretary to the production director linked me with the director. When I received the orders. I vetted them and gave them to my secretary who would so give them to the Managers secretary for them to be passed to the director. After the director signed them. they would follow the same path and come back to me where I would send on them to the production supervisor.

This was a complicate alteration but there was nil that I could make to do it simpler since that was the civilization of the organisation. One twenty-four hours. I received a call from the gross revenues section and I was informed of orders that had to be produced within 24 hours. Although we used to manage such orders they were rare and most of our orders were produced within a period of one hebdomad. Therefore at this was an pressing order that had to be completed fast. In a normal status. I was authorized to vet such an order and base on balls it direct the director without affecting the secretary so that it would be produced within the stipulated clip.

When I received the orders I decided to take them direct to the director to be signed. I went to the director office but I found that he was engaged with another client. For the past tow yearss. we had non been in good footings with my girlfriend but this was merely a normal struggle in a relationship. Therefore when I found that the director was engaged. we decided to speak with my girlfriend as we waited for the client to complete so that I would see the director. But our conversation became deep and emotional and I forgot that I had pressing order to be attended to.

I became really emotion as my girlfriend seemed to rag me through the conversation. I merely left the order on her tabular array and hurried back to my office seemingly really disquieted from the conversation we had. I did non retrieve about the orders once more. I spent the twenty-four hours in my office attention to other work and I felt really low. The following twenty-four hours in the forenoon. I go a call from the gross revenues section naming for the packaging of the merchandises as the Cline had come to roll up them. This was the beginning of the struggle. I called the gross revenues section and informed them that the director had non signed the orders and therefore they had non been processed.

Harmonizing to the misrepresentation theory. I had to pull strings what had happened in order to switch the incrimination from my office to the director office although I knew really good that there was a high degree of apprehensiveness about the misrepresentation in what I was stating. The gross revenues section tried to absorb the cogency of my account and instantly it was clear that this as non true. There was some component of fraudulence in my message. Therefore the gross revenues director called the production directors office and enquired about the orders.

The director sought to be explained why production director had non approved the production and yet the office did non pass on to the gross revenues office in order to call off the orders. The production director was non cognizant of any such order and hence he instantly called me in order to acquire to the underside of what had happened. As per my account. I told the director that I had taken a measure of passing over the order drunkard here secretary so that they could be processed easy and I thought that he had non approved those orders. But the secretary had non handed in the order.

Amid the conversation and struggle that we had with her. she had forgotten to manus in the order as a affair of urgency and therefore they had non bee approved. Therefore the struggle degraded to be a dyad struggle between me. my girlfriend and the production director. I shifted the incrimination to my girlfriend that as the secretary of the director she had the responsibility to manus in the orders. The director on the other and blamed me since I did non handle order with the needful urgency. My girlfriend besides blamed me since I did non inform her that the order was pressing and hence she concentrated on completing the work that was on her desk foremost.

It ended up as a blasted game but between me and her. it was more emotional and entwined to the other struggles that we had before. Therefore it was a dyad struggle another it was far making as it involved regardful section. To me the struggle was more complicated by the emotional bond that I had with the individual to who all the incrimination was falling. I blamed myself since I didn’t do what was right. I merely found myself supporting my place and forgot all the forfeits that we had made in the yesteryear in our relationship in order to suit the other.

There was power of love that was entwined in the struggle that made it hard for me to come over it. At the same clip there were office protocols that had to be followed in transporting out the needful activities. The cause of the struggle was vested in the misinterpretation in our relationship and deficiency of duty to my responsibilities. The struggle was hard to work out coupled with the emotional bond that was between us. In this instance the more we tried to come up with solution on how the production could be achieved within hours in order to present the merchandises the struggle went back to the start.

With the full apprehension of the relationship that was between me and his secretary. the production director became harsher and his usual unfavorable judgments of pretermiting our responsibilities for the interest of our unrecorded escalated one time once more. There was merely one status that he put for us. It was either we took our relationship out of the work topographic point or one or both of us resign from work and be left at place. His stance made it more hard to decide the struggle. But one once more there was besides the factor of my secretary who argued that she had been neglected in public presentation of her responsibilities and she was considered to be under the manager’s secretary.

With the full understating that both my office and the office of the director had their ain identify and freedom of operation. the director could non understand how our relationship had fused the operation of both offices such that semen of her office undertakings were performed by my secretary and my work was performed by his secretary. We had to happen a manner out of the struggle. We were able to work out the immediate consequence of the struggle and we ordered production of the order in a affair of hours. But there was still the job our work and our relationship that could non be ignored.

The director wanted us to work out it one time and for all. At the terminal the struggle had a destructive consequence on our relationship. Coupled with the struggle that we had earlier with my girlfriend. it became hard to travel over the current struggle that we were confronting. She accused me of misrepresentation and utilizing her as a scape-goat in order to hedge the duty of what had happened. The trust she had build on me had been deconstructed by one event and our relationship could non take off against or be the same as it had been earlier.

We had entered into a struggle that we could barely travel over. Earlier we had revealed our struggle through suiting each other and via media on one state of affairs. But this clip she seemed to hold taken an turning away scheme in our struggle. She did non pay attending to what had happened and the branching it had on our relationship but all she did was to avoid me wholly. She did non look to pay close attending in order to fit the schemes that we could utilize to work out the job to the state of affairs that was at our manus.

I thought that with clip we could retrieve from the clip force per unit area that was impacting how we resolved our struggle. To me our relationship was more valued and thereof I was ready to compromise and give myself in order to get the better of the struggle to fit the state of affairs. But I had used by comparative power scheme in order to set the incrimination on her and I knew she would non forgive me for this. I realized that I was working and hence I was ready to suit her for the interest of our relationship.

But she had already reached interpscyhic stage where although she said observing she was more focussed on my mistakes and show used may blame to retreat from active engagement in our relationship. She felt justified in retreating from the relationship. But it was over and our relationship entered the terminal phase. First we had differed as I had a ‘me’ base alternatively of ‘we’ in the struggle. We were both responsible for the struggle but I had exempted myself from it and accused her. This had acted as the first warning mark that our relationship was merely be stoping.

It had started to fade out with our earlier struggle and this struggle as the last concluding work stoppage that drove the nail in. Since that struggle happened we had less case of communicating. We had less interaction as we took to the workplace process. Suddenly we had developed different involvements and what had our merriment been earlier was non doing sense to the other. Although we continued to be with one another from clip to clip and many thought that our relationships was normal. I knew indoors myself that it was non working and non of us was working to salvage the state of affairs.

We reached as stagnancy phase and none of us talked about our relationship once more. Sometime we would be together and pass a batch of clip without speaking. In the office our interaction were reduced and even when we interacted. we talked about office affairs most of the clip. With clip we started to avoid each other. There were attempts to cut down face to confront conversation with the other and in instance I needed something from the director I would either direct the secretary or if she was busy. I would utilize the office phone.

I besides noted that she had the same attitude and she reduced the figure of trips she had been doing to my office and the phone line became active as the chief communicating channel. At the terminal. the expiration of our relationship was natural. We stopped seeing each. I used my secretary a batch when I wanted anything from the manager’s office. We simple ended our relationship like that and though with hard. we tried our best to stay coworkers until the day of the month she left the company for another.

Up to day of the month I feel that we didn’t manus our struggle the manner it was supposed to hold been handled. We didn’t pay attending to the all right inside informations of our relationship and we were excessively emotional in seeking to happen a solution to it. But it was compounded by the fact that it had emanated from another struggle and this had the consequence of an foreigner who had more power than us. The nature of the struggle was besides hard as there were protocols or work processs that had been overtaken by our emotional engagement.