Should Couples Live Together Before Marriage? Essay

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What is cohabitation? Harmonizing to the Oxford Dictionary. cohabitation means a twosome ‘live together and holding a sexual relationship without being married’ ( n. vitamin D ) . In1960 between 2000. the rate of cohabitation has increased to 88 % ( U. S. Census Bureau. 2008 ) . Nowadays. more and more people choose to populate together earlier matrimony because it is a good manner to prove the stableness of couples’ relationships ( Rhoades et al. . 2009a ) . 10 % of twosomes who live together before matrimony will cohabitate for at least five old ages and above ( Smock and Pamela. 2000 ) . Hence. does cohabitation turn out to be a good option to marriage?

Although others might hold that cohabitation is the best manner to beef up bonds between twosomes. but research has shown otherwise. Cohabitation will impact the kids. the relationship of live togethering spouses and the society. Therefore. the intent of this paper is to indicate out the disadvantages of cohabitation.

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First. cohabitation will hold negative effects on kids. Based on the study. 45 % of Ireland’s live togethering spouses portion their income ( 2009 ) . Cohabitation households will confront fiscal jobs whenever their spouse is ill or unemployed. Poor cohabitating households will take to behavioral jobs of kids. Besides. the kids will be stressed out. Besides. kids from cohabitating households do non hold the same rights compared to kids who come from integral households. This is because there are no jurisprudence and tutelary right affecting kids from cohabitating households. In other words. kids of single twosomes can non bask the same benefits compared to normal kids. for case. authorities benefits and revenue enhancement. Children from live togethering household will fault their parents. So. it is tough to construct the relationship between the parent and kids. Therefore. parents who are involved in cohabitation will convey negative effects to their childs ( Kierkus. 2010 ) .

Furthermore. kids in cohabitating households may confront emotional jobs. Harmonizing to research. kids from cohabitating households will confront more psychological and socio-emotional challenges than others ( Live Site News. 2010 ) . These challenges include the emotional direction such as scholastic accomplishment. look capacity. and behavior. In add-on. the hazard of confronting psychological hurts in kids who are from cohabitating household is higher than normal kids. These hurts include anxiousness upsets of kids that may do statements among household members ( Crouse. 2004 ) . For illustration. kids will confront terror. phobic disorder and lower status composite ( Gollub and Shellock. 2011 ) .

Meanwhile. ccohabitating parents will put a bad illustration to their kids. Harmonizing to Dyer. kids will follow or larn from their parents and the same behavior in their day-to-day lives ( n. d. ) . This is because parents are the ultimate function theoretical accounts for their kids. Parents may act upon the perceptual experience of their kids sing cohabitation. Children from non-intact households may pattern sex before matrimony in the hereafter. A survey done by Science Daily about sex. drug and intoxicant. had mentioned that attitude of parents toward sexual activity can act upon their kids the most in the hereafter ( 2008 ) . Therefore. parents will non merely act upon their children’s perceptual experience on cohabitation. but besides expose them to early sexual activities. Therefore. cohabitating households are the least suited household environment for kids.

Second. cohabitation will besides impact the relationship between cohabitating spouses. Recent study shows that the ground for why many twosomes are involved in cohabitation is because they think that it is convenient ; therefore. they can pass more clip together and cohabitation can be a test matrimony ( Rhoades et al. . 2009b ) . However. test matrimony will take to disassociate. Recent study shows that cohabitating twosomes have an 80 % of separation rate before matrimony and 60 % of twosomes will disassociate in ten old ages ( Hayward and Brandon. 2010a ) . The rate of divorce of cohabitating households is higher than normal matrimony households. Other illustrations besides shows that half of the cohabitating households will divide in less than two old ages ( Hayward and Brandon. 2010b )

Harmonizing to J Marriage Fam. twosomes who cohabitate before matrimony will normally disassociate in their first and 2nd matrimony ( 2010 ) . This is because many struggles will happen when twosomes live together earlier matrimony. such as communicating jobs. clip direction jobs and besides occupation division jobs. Based on a study. the top ground of divorce is unfaithfulness ( Watson. 2011 ) . Besides. fiscal adversity is besides another ground which leads to disassociate. For case. 38. 6 % single twosomes earn income under $ 30K which is low compared to other households in United States ( U. S. Census Bureau. 2005 ) . This is because twosomes will hold different conflicting thoughts on how to administer household disbursals. Therefore. struggles may go on when there are differences of sentiments.

Furthermore. twosomes who live together before matrimony will confront a batch of family distribution and emotional jobs. When twosomes cohabitate. the job of family distribution might go on. As mentioned by William Harms in his article. adult females who are in a matrimony will pass 14 hr per hebdomad in housekeeping. but on the other manus. adult females who involve in cohabitation will merely pass 10 hr per hebdomad in housekeeping ( 2000 ) . So. adult females who are live togethering will non lend much compared to adult females who are already married. Besides. the unemployment rate of cohabitating twosomes has increased 7 % from 2007 to 2010 ( Kreider. 2010 ) . Hence. unemployed spouses will hold a much less income to back up their households. Due to fiscal load. twosomes may confront a batch of emotional jobs which will impact their relationship. Therefore. cohabitation non merely will impact the relationship of the twosomes but besides indirectly increase the rate of divorce.

Third. cohabitation might besides do an addition in poorness rate. Couples who live before matrimony will lend to poverty. Based on a study. there is 11 % higher rate of poorness in cohabitating households compared to marriage households ( Avellar and Smock. 2005 ) . Children from single households are likely to be hapless. The money spent by twosomes who live together before matrimonies are higher than matrimony households. This is because they do non merely necessitate money to raise their household but besides to pay separate authorities revenue enhancements. Recent study shows in Norway that more than 40 % of cohabitating parents have kids. whereas cohabitating households without kids are merely 37. 8 % ( OECD Family Database. 2005 ) . Therefore. live togethering household will do poorness.

Besides. twosomes who live together before matrimony will hold wellness jobs. As mentioned by The New York Times. cohabitation caused negative effects toward women’s wellness ( 2006 ) . One such illustration is adult females in cohabitation will easy derive to burden ( Risen. 2006 ) . This is because adult females will be influenced by work forces about the negative eating wont. For illustration. cohabitating twosomes will more holding restaurant repasts. fast nutrient and debris nutrient. Cohabitation will besides take to some wellness jobs to twosomes such as sexual familial disease ( STDs ) . For illustrations HIV and AIDS. HIV has caused 5. 000 American adult females died every twelvemonth ( Crouse. 2004a ) . Cohabite twosomes will hold unprotected sex that will take to sexual familial diseases. In add-on. the cohabitating adult females are six times higher to acquire STD comparison to married adult females ( Crouse. 2004b ) .

Other than that. societal and behavior jobs can besides be brought by cohabitation. An illustration of societal jobs which caused by cohabitation is early sexual relationship that may take to unwanted gestations. This is because those twosomes do non hold adequate experiences in prevent gestation. Then. they will besides remain in the same house. same room or even the same bed. Hence. the opportunity of acquiring pregnant of twosomes who cohabitate is much higher than those who are non cohabitate with their spouse.

For illustration. there are 3. 2 million of unwanted gestations in United States ( Finer and Zolna. 2006 ) . Due to unwanted gestations. cohabitation may take to child maltreatment and child ill-treatment. This is because parents in live togethering households are more unhappy. force per unit area and unprepared. Harmonizing to British Marriage Project. it mentioned that there are 20 times more child maltreatment instances that occur in cohabitation households than matrimony households ( Fagan and Jaohson. 2002 ) . In add-on. some research workers besides found that kid maltreatment will increase more than 10 % every twelvemonth due to the increasing in cohabitation ( National Marriage Project. 2002b ) . This consequence has been proved that cohabitation will do higher possibility of kid maltreatment from.

Besides. Lonardo et. Al besides claims that cohabitation will do behavioural jobs among cohabitating twosomes ( 2009 ) . Based on the study. a male that live together earlier matrimony have 7 times more involve in behaviour jobs and caught by constabularies compare to a adult male who has get married ( Albert. 2006 ) . The study proved that the rate of behavioural jobs in cohabitating household are much higher than normal married household. Furthermore. adolescent twosomes will besides hold behavioural jobs.

For illustration. teenage twosomes may hold academic jobs when they are cohabitating. This is because they will pass most of their clip dating ; therefore. this will finally do them to pretermit their surveies. Furthermore. the freedom of single may expropriate when twosomes live before matrimony. Therefore. adolescents who are traveling through the pubescence phase will hold anger direction jobs. So. when two teenage twosomes live together. they will most likely argue and fight with each other most of the clip. In add-on. if parents of those twosomes do non back up their life position. struggles and statements between the parents and adolescents will happen. Hence. this shows that cohabitation will non merely take to behavioural jobs among cohabitating twosomes. but besides ruin the relationship between parents and cohabitating twosomes.

Following. many faiths are against cohabitation. Based on the spiritual beliefs. cohabitation is a manner to promote sexual behaviours. Couples who cohabitate should larn to act and command themselves. remaining off from lecherousness and avoiding possibilities of traversing boundaries. Harmonizing to Paul. before matrimony is the actions that they do non cognize God and do non cognize how to protect themselves ( 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5. New International Version ) . Therefore. this mean that matrimony is holiness and couple must avoid holding sex before matrimony. Furthermore. based on the Christian’s point of position. divorce and remarriage are besides non encouraged.

Harmonizing to the Bible. work forces and adult females must merely hold sexual relationships with merely one individual. which is their hubby or married woman ( 1 Corinthians 7:2. New International Version ) . Thus. based on the context of Christianity. sex before matrimony can non be accepted. If twosomes insist in life together earlier matrimony. it will impact their religion’s image. In add-on. Islam does non allow sex before matrimony. From the Islamic point of position. a adult male can get married with non more than four adult females. but it does non promote their trusters to affect in cohabitation. Islam urges that sex is merely involved between hubby and married woman in matrimony but non to those who cohabitate. Therefore. by looking at the point of positions in Christian and Islam. cohabitation is non encouraged.

However. there are still groups of people who disagree that cohabitation will take to a series of negative effects. Harmonizing to the oppositions. they believe that the twosomes who live together will hold more clip to pass on and understand each other. Furthermore. oppositions besides mention that twosomes who lives together before matrimony will assist them to do certain that they are right for each other. Then. cohabitation will besides assist twosomes to cognize their partners’ personalities and features in more item. From all of the grounds stated above. the spread between twosomes will be reduced if they live together earlier matrimony. Therefore. twosomes who are cohabitating can work out many struggles and jobs by face-to-face communicating.

Despite the opponent’s statement. cohabitation is non the lone manner to pass more clip together to better their relationship. This is because there are still many other ways for twosomes to pass more clip together and better their relationship. Harmonizing to a recent study. there are 20 tips to better relationship for twosomes. such as by take parting in societal activities. pass on more with each other and set up some other regulations in their relationship besides cohabitation ( Nicastro. 2011 ) . Besides. there is another survey by National Council of United States that mentioned that a individual who cohabitate before matrimony will obtain less felicity in matrimony ( 2002 ) . This is because when they have spent most of their clip as twosomes before matrimony. they can non really experience the felicity and fresh feelings after the matrimony. From this consequence. it shows that that cohabitation can non better the felicity among twosomes nor better the relationship between cohabitating twosomes.

Furthermore. cohabitation is non a good method for cohabitating twosomes to find whether or non they are suited for each other. This is because they normally do non handle their relationship earnestly as married twosomes did. Most of the twosomes choose to cohabitate because they want to hold a test and mistake of matrimony. Harmonizing to Goodman Greaves. the rate of interruption ups after cohabitation is much higher than married twosomes ( 2010 ) .

This is because cohabitating twosomes will experience insecure as they do non hold any legal base as married twosomes when they cohabitate. In another words. they are neither hubby nor married woman in the legal point of position. Besides that. one survey of United Families International found that the rate of domestic force in live togethering households is dual compared to normal households ( 2002 ) . Based on this research. it shows that cohabitation will do household force for adult females that will do the twosomes to go less confident towards their relationship.

Furthermore. as what had John A. Piece said. ‘Communication is non merely the kernel of being human. but besides a critical belongings of life. ’ ( n. vitamin D ) . This shows that communicating accomplishments are the extreme of import thing among all twosomes. This is because communicating can assist twosomes to increase their assurance and relationship bond with each other. Based on the study. communicating job in cohabitating twosomes are more than married twosomes ( Kays and Tomasulo. 2010 ) . So. it has been proved that cohabitation has non improved communicating between twosomes but merely worsen the current state of affairs of communicating jobs among twosomes. This is because the different point of positions of life styles between twosomes will increase their statements. Examples of different life wonts are kiping wont. eating wont and wellness wont. Therefore. the study approves that cohabitation is non a manner to cut down the communicating spread between twosome.

In a nutshell. the statements mentioned above prove that cohabitation should non be encouraged because it does non merely bring effects to the twosomes themselves. but besides to their kids and society every bit good. In add-on. researches have besides shown that in footings of household. faiths and society. cohabitation has more disadvantages than advantages to cohabitating twosomes. Cohabitation should besides be dealt earnestly in the universe so that the jobs which are brought by this issue can be minimized. Therefore. it is concluded that twosomes should non populate together earlier matrimony.

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