My topic was inspired by “The Lesson” (Toni Cade Bambara pg 507-512), parents play an important part of in a child’s development. The Mother-Child Dyad is the most important aspect of raising competent children, closing the intergenerational gap through communication and compromise helps strengthen these relationships. Single mothers are very capable of raising responsible children. According to Troy E. Beckert, et al while conducting a study of competence from both parent and children perspectives, ”The presence of an adult at home when the child returned from school and the amount of time the dyad spent together each week significantly differentiated both groups of respondents on areas of parenting. ” (Beckert pg 275) ”In a similar fashion, mother-child dyads that had an adult at home more often after school were more similar in their views of issues. ” (Beckert pg 286)

Researchers John F. Ermisch and Marco Francesconi found “that experience of life in a single-parent family during childhood is usually associated with negative outcomes for children as young adults. ” (Ermisch pg 262) Although the ideal family situation includes a mother, a father and extended family sharing the responsibility of raising the child, this is not always an option. Weinraub and Wolf found that there is an impact on nurturing, “never-married mothers were more nurturant toward their children than divorced mothers. (Weinraub pg 1309) Children raised by single-mothers can still be well-adjusted children, teenagers, and adults. Most children who grow up in single-mother working households are mature, realistic and independent.

Weinraub and Wolf also found that “single parents fared no better or worse than their married counterparts in ability to exercise effective control, display of maternal nurturance, ease in communicating with their children, or extent of child maturity demands. and “no differences were observed among children from single or married homes in compliance with these demands. ” (Weinraub pg 1307) Many consider a child raised by a single mother to be at a disadvantage since single mothers deal with greater stress with lower incomes, less time, less social support and in many cases less education. While these factors make raising a child more difficult they can be overcome by developing support networks, friendships, patience and learning positive parenting skills.

Government assistance helps single mothers improve their situations through financial assistance: Housing through Texas Department of Housing & Community Affairs, training and job search through Texas Workforce Commission as well as formal education with Pell Grants. External support networks consist of family, friends, neighbors or church groups that are able to help with emotional and physical needs such as listening and babysitting. Mother-child dyad is defined as a strong mutual relationship between mother and child.

Communication is the starting point to developing any successful relationship; it helps foster an alliance between parent and child while avoiding estrangement and misunderstandings. A single mother must not only play the role of mother but in many cases father as well. Quality time helps mother understand what is going on in the life and mind of their child. As a parent, good communication needs to be emphasized as when talking and listening to the child.

A child can usually tell when a parent is not listening to them, and this can cause the relationship to deteriorate and cause the child to shut down emotionally which affects their self esteem and self worth. “The findings are consistent with the expectation that the link between a child’s theory of mind and social adaptation depends in part on the social-emotional context in which children’s social cognitive skills develop and operate. ” (Cahill pg 52) Good communication is not merely talking; it is being giving your full attention and showing the child that nothing else is more important at that moment.

Good communication is having those difficult conversations, sharing knowledge and empathy so the child can learn to deal with difficult situations. Many single mothers have limited time, most work full-time and come home to their second full-time job raising their children; though difficult it is very important to spend quality time together. Many single parents are doing so busy with three or four tasks at a time while their child is trying to express themselves, they may not even look up from what they are doing, as the child desperately tries to get their attention.

After a while the child stops trying and become alienated and finds other, sometimes negative, ways to get a parent’s attention. Parents provide both physical and emotional care for their children, while teaching family values, accepted norms and values of society. A successful parent child relationship consists of spending quality time together, creating understanding between the parent and child, and creating valuable memories. “Five hours per week is not an impossible amount of time to allocate in most family situations.

Likewise companies and businesses could be lobbied to provide flexible work schedules to allow employees such as these single mothers the opportunity to be home when their child returns from school. ” (Beckert pg 287) In a single mother home the demand of household and children are financially demanding can be very challenging. “These women faced a dilemma: they worked long hours and had only a limited amount of time to divide between meeting their own emotional and recreational needs and those of their children. (Weinraub pg 1308) The most neglected area at home is housework, “Given the time pressures and multiple responsibilities single mothers faced, household chores may be the most easily neglected responsibility. ” (Weinbaum pg 1307) “In single divorced women, financial stress predicts increased maternal demands and child-rearing restrictions. ” (Weinraub pg 1398) Many single mothers feel inadequate in this area, it is difficult to explain to a child why there friends have things that they can not.

Once again communication is a key component, parents teach children what is important in life, is it more important to have the latest gadget that is all the rage or is it more important to share time with family. Consistency is another aspect of good parenting through the life of the child. Many single mothers struggle with arbitrary power, it is much easier to say to a child “Because I said so” than it is to take the time to compromise. Modification in mother-child interaction is especially helpful when mother-child interaction becomes strained.

An example of a three step modification used by Twentyman during intervention is “(1) child expresses, mother listens; (2) mother expresses, child listens; and (3) reach agreement. ” (Twentyman pg 140) According to Lee “children require a certain amount of boundaries from parents in order to distinguish their parents from friends or acquaintances. ” (Lee pg 616) As children grow and develop ideas of their own, needs change and it is important for moms to recognize these changes with an open mind and a lot of understanding and patience.

Researcher Sang Min Lee tested the gender the gender composition of single-parent families, mother vs father with son or daughter “The results indicated that there were no benefits in same-gender single-parent households. ” Lee pg 607) Mothers are as effective raising either gender. Finally for a single mother the parent-child Dyad is a key element to raising successful, responsible children, bridging the gap between mother and child with quality time and communication plays such large part of a child’s development.