Tribute To Matt Stone Essay, Research Paper
Episode 201 & # 8211 ; Not Without My Anus
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South Park Announcer: Since the last South Park you & # 8217 ; ve waited four long hebdomads to happen out who the male parent of Eric Cartman is. Now, eventually, the flooring truth about Cartman & # 8217 ; s line of descent will non be seen this evening so we can convey you the following particular presentation.
[ Honk ]
HBC Announcer: Now, acquire ready for Canada & # 8217 ; s hottest action stars. Terrance and Phillip in the HBC Movie of the Week, Not Without My Anus, based on a true narrative.
[ Canadian Courthouse – 10:18 A.M. ]
Scott: Ladies and gentlemen, before you today sits a liquidator. On the dark in inquiry, this monster entered the place of Dr. Jeffrey O & # 8217 ; Dwyer, and struck him repeatedly in the caput with this cock. That monster is sitting right over at that place, and his name is Terrance.
[ Dramatic Music ]
[ Fart ]
Phillip: Uh, Terrance, you farted in tribunal.
Terrance: Yes Phillip, I & # 8217 ; m doing a instance for our defence.
[ Laughter ]
Scott: All of these things link Terrance to the slaying: hair fibres, blood samples, nail cuttings, a piece of his shirt
Terrance looks about confused.
Scott: A ticker with his initials on it, a twenty-four hours contriver with the slaying scheduled, a haiku called “ Time to Kill Dr. Jeffrey O & # 8217 ; Dwyer. ” “ Dr. O & # 8217 ; Dwyer, clip to hold your caput smashed in, with my new cock. ” Terrance, you may be a celebrated sawbones, but you & # 8217 ; re non God. Je accuse Terrance.
Terrance: Would you like a monkey claw Phillip?
Phillip: Yes please.
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
Terrance: That & # 8217 ; s called the monkey claw cause it feels like my colon is being ripped apart by a 1000 monkeys.
Phillip: The monkey claw is smelly.
The Judge hammers her gavel.
Judge: Come on, acquire a move-on, I ain & # 8217 ; t acquiring a younger up here.
Phillip: My sentiments precisely Your Honor. I see from your speech pattern that you & # 8217 ; re Southern Canadian.
Judge: That is right.
Phillip: Good people of the jury, my client Terrance is an guiltless adult male.
[ Fart ]
Terrance: Oh Ho, Phillip, now you farted during the shutting statement.
Phillip: I have, haven & # 8217 ; t I Terrance.
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
Scott: Your Honor, the defence is seeking to do a jeer of this tribunal. They think flatuss are amusing, but they & # 8217 ; re non.
Judge: Sustained.
Phillip: Good people of the jury, my client Terrance is no more a liquidator than you or me. He loves puppies and hatreds mean things. Would a liquidator spell to the menagerie and provender animate beings like this?
Phillip shows the jury of Terrance with a llama.
Phillip: Of class non. So, in summing up, find Terrance inexperienced person, or else he & # 8217 ; ll kill you.
[ Gasp ]
[ Laughter ]
Phillip: Merely pull the leg ofing. The defence remainders.
Terrance pounds his fist on the tabular array as he laughs uncontrollably.
[ Fart ]
Scott: God damnit, that International Relations and Security Network & # 8217 ; t good story.
[ Laughter ]
The justice hammers her gavel.
Judge: Madam Foreperson, have you reached a finding of fact so we can acquire the snake pit out of here?
Foreperson: We have Your Honor ; we have found Terrance, in the above-entitled action of slaying against Dr. Jeffrey O & # 8217 ; Dwyer & # 8230 ;
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
Judge: You & # 8217 ; re traveling to hold to reiterate that finding of fact since we had some flatulency issues.
Foreperson: I said, we find & # 8230 ;
[ Fart ]
Foreperson: We find Terrance & # 8230 ;
[ Fart ]
Foreperson: NOT GUILTY! ! !
Phillip: Did you hear that Terrance? You & # 8217 ; re non guilty!
Terrance: Oh Phillip, you saved me from the gas chamber!
[ Silence ]
[ Laughter ]
Terrance: Oh no.
[ Outside the Courthouse ]
Terrance: That sure was merriment. Let & # 8217 ; s travel place and eat Kroff Dinner.
Phillip: Hear, hear.
Scott: Well, looks like you got off with it Terrance and Phillip.
Phillip: Oh, hello Scott. No difficult feelings, right old buddy?
Scott: There are difficult feelings, this International Relations and Security Network & # 8217 ; T over. I & # 8217 ; m traveling to see to it that you both pay for what you & # 8217 ; ve done. And do you cognize why?
Phillip: & # 8217 ; Cause you & # 8217 ; re a gumshoe?
Scott: No, because I hate you. You think break winding is soo good story, well it isn & # 8217 ; T! Fart gags are the lowest signifier of comedy, and if I & # 8230 ;
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
Scott: Oh, I hate you both. I & # 8217 ; ve hated you of all time since I can retrieve. I hate you and I wish you both had malignant neoplastic disease.
[ Laughter stops ]
Phillip: Cancer?
Scott: Yes, in the caput.
Terrance: Head malignant neoplastic disease?
Scott: This is non the terminal Terrance and Phillip. You & # 8217 ; ll repent this twenty-four hours.
Terrance: Wow, Scott truly hates us Phillip.
Phillip: Yes, possibly he & # 8217 ; s homophobic.
[ Silence ]
Terrance: But we & # 8217 ; re non cheery, Phillip.
Phillip: We & # 8217 ; re non?
Terrance: Well, allow us board the metro and return place. There we can eat Kroff Dinner.
Phillip: Yes, it & # 8217 ; s been a long twenty-four hours, and merely Kroff Dinner can quiet my nervousnesss.
[ Onboard the Subway ]
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
Terrance: Say Phillip, why does Scott ever try to convict me of slaying. He does it every hebdomad.
Phillip: He certainly does look to detest us. I wonder what he & # 8217 ; ll seek following.
Terrance: God merely knows.
Phillip: The metro surely is fantastic Terrance.
Terrance: It certain is. Let & # 8217 ; s expression for hoarded wealth.
Phillip: Yes, allow & # 8217 ; s expression for hoarded wealth.
Terrance and Phillip get down looking about the metro auto for & # 8216 ; treasure. & # 8217 ;
[ Scott ‘s House – 11:57 A.M. ]
[ Phone ring ]
Scott: Hello.
Hussein: Hello, is this Scott from Canada?
Scott: Yes, yes it is.
Hussein: You & # 8217 ; re a journalist, right?
Scott: Yes, I & # 8217 ; m a telecasting critic for magazines.
Hussein: I understand that you hate Terrance and Phillip.
Scott: Yes, yes I do. They think that flatuss are a sophisticated signifier of comedy, but they & # 8217 ; re non.
Hussein: Well, what if I were to assist you acquire rid of them one time and for all.
Scott: Who is this?
Hussein: Let & # 8217 ; s merely state that I & # 8217 ; m person who can assist you if you help me.
The face of Saddam is eventually revealed.
Hussein: Merely name me your old buddy, Saddam Hussein.
Scott: Saddam Hussein, the Iraqi dictator? ! ?
Hussein: Hey, relax cat. I & # 8217 ; m merely your mean Joe. Take a remainder.
Scott: What do you desire?
Hussein: You want Terrance and Phillip out of Canada ; I want you to convey me and my friends into Canada. That sounds like a just trade, doesn & # 8217 ; t it? Super, allow & # 8217 ; s acquire started.
Scott: I & # 8217 ; m non certain I should swear you.
Hussein: Hey, relax cat, swear me.
[ Commercial ]
[ Outside Terrance and Phillips House ]
Terrance: Well, it & # 8217 ; s excessively bad we didn & # 8217 ; t happen any hoarded wealth on the metro Phillip.
Ugly Bob attacks.
Phillip: Oh, hello Ugly Bob.
Ugly Bob: Hello Terrance, hullo Phillip.
Terrance: My God, you & # 8217 ; re looking horridly ugly today Ugly Bob.
Ugly Bob: How come you cats say material like that?
Terrance: Because you & # 8217 ; re God Damned ugly Bob.
Ugly Bob: I know, but & # 8230 ;
Phillip: Ugly Bob, your face looks like person tried to set out forest fire with a screwdriver.
Ugly Bob: I can & # 8217 ; t assist how I look. Besides, it & # 8217 ; s non what & # 8217 ; s on the exterior that affairs, it & # 8217 ; s what & # 8217 ; s on the interior.
Terrance: No it isn & # 8217 ; T.
[ Laughter ]
Terrance: Want to see what & # 8217 ; s on the interior of me?
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
Phillip: Wait, delay. I & # 8217 ; ve got an thought. Why Don & # 8217 ; t you put this paper bag over your caput Ugly Bob?
Terrance: Yes, if people can & # 8217 ; t see your face, they won & # 8217 ; t cognize how wretchedly ugly you are.
Ugly Bob: Truly? Hey, thanks you guys. Possibly now I can hit with biddies.
Terrance: Certain you can Ugly Bob. If they can & # 8217 ; t see how dreadfully disfigured you are, they & # 8217 ; ll want to kip with you.
Ugly Bob: Thankss you guys.
[ Terrance and Phillips House – 12:20 P.M. ]
Phillip: Hello Barky, hullo Purry.
Barky: Bark Bark.
Purry: Purr Purr.
Phillip: Say, Terrance, I was merely aboot to do some Kroff Dinner. Would you wish some?
Terrance: You know I ne’er turn down Kroff Dinner Phillip.
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
Terrance: I & # 8217 ; m traveling to set on a plagiarist costume.
[ Doorbell ring ]
Phillip answers the door.
Delivery Man: Particular bringing for Terrance.
Phillip: I & # 8217 ; ll take that.
Delivery Man: Sign here and here and here and here and here.
Phillip marks for the missive.
Delivery Man: And here.
Phillip: Oh Terrance, you got a missive.
Terrance: Shudder me lumbers Phillip, at this rate I & # 8217 ; ll ne’er acquire to my Kroff Dinner.
Terrance reads the missive.
Terrance: Oh my God! ! !
Phillip: What is it Terrance? Did you break wind?
Terrance: No, it & # 8217 ; s Sally, she & # 8217 ; s being held prisoner in Iran.
Phillip: Not Sally, beloved God no Terrance, why Sally, God why? Say Terrance, who & # 8217 ; s Sally?
Terrance: My girl.
Phillip: I ne’er knew you had a girl Terrance.
Terrance: Oh yes, didn & # 8217 ; t I mention that me heartys?
Phillip: No, you ne’er did Terrance.
Terrance: Oh, well, it all began 15 old ages ago.
[ Terrance & A ; Phillips House – 44 Hours Later… . ]
Phillip: My God, what a absorbing narrative Terrance, particularly the portion aboot Celine Dion.
Terrance: Yes, so. But now my small Sally is being held prisoner in Iran, and I will hold to travel and happen her.
Phillip: Then I will travel with you Terrance.
Terrance: You are such a good friend Phillip.
Phillip: Well, you know what they say ; “ A friend in demand is a friend with Kroff Dinner. ”
Terrance: Progress there maties.
[ Celine Dion ‘s House – 1:15 P.M. ]
[ Doorbell Ring ]
Terrance: Hello Celine Dion.
Celine Dion: Terrance, this is rather a surprise.
Terrance: You & # 8217 ; rhenium looking good.
Celine Dion: And you.
Terrance: Celine, where is our girl Sally?
Celine Dion: She & # 8217 ; s in the Middle East, analyzing anthropology. Why?
Terrance: Incorrect, she & # 8217 ; s been taken surety and is now being held captive.
Celine Dion: What? ! ?
Terrance: Phillip and I are traveling to Iran to happen her, but we may ne’er return.
[ Gasp ]
Celine Dion: Oh Terrance, what happened to us?
Terrance: We merely grew apart Celine Dion.
Celine Dion: Please, convey our girl place safe Terrance.
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Canadian Airport – 11:05 A.M. ]
Phillip: Hello Ugly Bob.
Ugly Bob: Hi cats.
Terrance: How & # 8217 ; s the paper bag working out?
Ugly Bob: Peoples seem to truly wish it. I even have a day of the month this Friday.
Terrance: Terrific. We need two tickets for Tehran please.
Ugly Bob: Iran is unsafe ; you guys shouldn & # 8217 ; t travel at that place.
Phillip: Damnit adult male. Danger or no, I & # 8217 ; m traveling to assist my friend happen his girl.
Terrance laughs softly.
Ugly Bob: All right so, there & # 8217 ; s a flight go forthing today.
Phillip: Oh good. Well, I surely am traveling to lose Canada, Terrance.
Terrance: Indeed Phillip.
Phillip: Terrance, if I die whilst in Iran, please convey my organic structure back to Canada, and bury me in a box with a side of Kroff Dinner.
Terrance: Lapp here Phillip.
Phillip: O Canada! Our place and native land!
Terrance and Phillip: True nationalist love in all thy boies command.
Airport: With glowing Black Marias we see thee rise, The True North strong and free! From far and broad, O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. God maintain our land glorious and free!
Scott peeks out with a walky-talky in manus.
Scott: [ Simultaneously ] Scott to Red Dragon, come in Red Dragon.
Hussein: Go-ahead cat, this is Red Dragon.
Scott: The program is working absolutely ; Terrance and Phillip are taking the come-on.
Hussein: Excellent, my brothers and I are ready to come to Canada. Has everything been arranged?
Airport: O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
Scott: Yes, everything & # 8217 ; s continuing harmonizing to program. Now, you promised that when Terrance and Phillip arrive they & # 8217 ; ll be ripped into pieces and changeable several times.
Hussein: Hey, relax cat, I & # 8217 ; m gon na maintain my side of the deal.
Scott: Roger Red Dragon, Scott out. I & # 8217 ; ve got you now you fart loving flatus lovers.
Airport: O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
A map shows the flight to Iran
[ Over the Carribean ]
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
Terrance: I got you.
[ Over Spain ]
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
Terrance: Sprayed your face.
[ Over the Suez Canal ]
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
Terrance: Ahh that splattered!
[ Tehran – 2:30 P.M. ]
Terrance: Oh Phillip, how will I of all time find my fleeting girl in this dashing topographic point? We don & # 8217 ; t talk the linguistic communication, we are unwelcome aliens and we have no thought where to being.
Phillip: Oh expression, there she is.
Terrance: Oh good.
Sally: Who, where?
Terrance: I & # 8217 ; m here Sally ; it & # 8217 ; s your male parent, Terrance. I & # 8217 ; m here to salvage you from your smelly Persian capturers.
Sally: Papa.
Phillip: Say, she looks a batch more like Celine Dion than you Terrance.
[ Fart ]
Phillip: Oh, now I see the resemblance.
Terrance: Well, sufficiency of Iran, allow & # 8217 ; s acquire place.
[ Aboard the plane, Flying Home ]
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Canadian Airport – 3:45 P.M. ]
Terrance: Well, now that I & # 8217 ; ve got my asshole girl back, I feel like traveling to Celine Dion & # 8217 ; s house and inquiring her to get married me once more.
Phillip: Oh, raspberries, looks like I & # 8217 ; m losing a friend.
Terrance: No, you & # 8217 ; re deriving a dad singer.
Phillip: Oh my God! What is this? ! ?
[ Dramatic Music ]
Large pictures of Saddam Hussein bent from the edifices.
Phillip: Is this Canada?
Terrance: It seems to hold changed.
Phillip: This is madness!
[ Commercial ]
[ Outside the Airport ]
Terrance: What & # 8217 ; s traveling on Phillip? How could Canada hold changed so much whilst we were gone?
Phillip: I don & # 8217 ; t cognize Terrance. And who is that smelly individual in all these images?
Terrance: I must take my asshole girl back to Celine Dion and see what she has to state.
[ Celine Dion ‘s House – 4:02 P.M. ]
Terrance: Celine, I brought our girl Sally back, and I want to state you that & # 8230 ;
Celine Dion: Terrance, uh, could you come back a small subsequently?
Terrance: Why?
Celine Dion: Uh, I & # 8217 ; m merely a small busy right now.
Terrance: You & # 8217 ; ve got a adult male over, wear & # 8217 ; t you Celine Dion?
Celine Dion: Well, I & # 8230 ;
Ugly Bob: Hi cats.
Phillip: Oh my God, it & # 8217 ; s Ugly Bob!
Terrance: Wh
at the snake pit are you making here?
Ugly Bob: I & # 8217 ; m making Celine Dion, what & # 8217 ; s it look like?
Terrance: Oh Celine Dion, what have you done? I was traveling to do us a household once more, but now you & # 8217 ; ve kip with Ugly Bob.
Celine Dion: What do you intend? Why are you naming him Ugly Bob?
Phillip: Because that & # 8217 ; s his name you stupid bitch.
Celine Dion: You told me your name was Handsome Bob.
Terrance: Expression at him Celine Dion.
Terrance removes the bag from Bob & # 8217 ; s caput.
[ Scream ]
Phillip: Behold, his atrocious face.
Celine Dion: Oh my God, he & # 8217 ; s monstrously ugly, and I am pregnant with his kid!
Terrance: What? ! ? Noooooo! ! ! ! ! !
Celine Dion: I & # 8217 ; m traveling to hold a freak-baby!
Phillip: Oh, the humanity!
[ Saddam Hussein ‘s Candian H.Q. – 4:03 P.M. ]
Scott: He Saddam, you helped me acquire rid of Terrance and Phillip, and I appreciate that. But why are framed images of you traveling up all over Canada?
Hussein: Huh, oh that? Don & # 8217 ; t worry cat, you merely necessitate a remainder.
Scott: No, I don & # 8217 ; t need a remainder! I want to cognize what this is all aboot.
Hussein: Hey, relax chap, I & # 8217 ; m merely doing it so that Terrance and Phillip can ne’er come back to Canada once more. I merely necessitate a twosome of yearss, so I & # 8217 ; m gon na head back to Iran.
Scott: I thought you were from Iraq.
Hussein: Iran, Iraq, what the snake pit & # 8217 ; s the difference? Relax cat.
[ Downtown Canada – 4:04 P.M. ]
Iraqi Soldiers are processing through the streets.
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
Terrance: Phillip, I & # 8217 ; m convinced that something really, really non good is go oning to Canada.
Phillip: Yes, I agree whole-fartedly.
[ Laughter ]
Scott: Hey, what the snake pit are you guys making here?
Terrance: Oh, hello Scott.
Scott: You & # 8217 ; re non supposed to be here. You & # 8217 ; rheniums supposed to be in Iran looking for your kidnapped & # 8230 ; . Uh, I mean, how are you cats today?
Phillip: Wait, what were you stating?
Scott: Nothing, why?
Terrance: Hey Scott, think what?
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
Scott: Uh, I hate you more than of all time Terrance and Phillip. I perfectly abhor you both.
Scott is gesticulating particularly at Terrance and Phillip.
Phillip: What are you making Scott?
Scott: I & # 8217 ; m wishing malignant neoplastic disease upon you.
Phillip: Cancer?
Scott: That & # 8217 ; s right, I & # 8217 ; m seeking to give you malignant neoplastic disease with my head.
Terrance: Ah, halt that.
Terrance fells behind Phillip.
Phillip: Hey, don & # 8217 ; t give me malignant neoplastic disease.
[ Saddam Hussein ‘s Candian H.Q. – 4:05 P.M. ]
U.S. Soldier: Mr. Hussein, the U.S. Government is going worried.
Hussein: Worried, aboot what? Take a burden off, relax.
U.S. Soldier: You seem to be taking over Canada.
Hussein: Pickings over Canada? Me? Hey, you need a remainder chap. I & # 8217 ; m non concealing any bombs.
U.S. Soldier: We didn & # 8217 ; Ts say anything about bombs.
Hussein: Oh. You didn & # 8217 ; t? Hey, relax.
U.S. Soldier: We & # 8217 ; re giving you merely three old ages to unclutter your forces out of Canada. After that, we & # 8217 ; re traveling to bomb all of Iran.
Hussein: I & # 8217 ; m from Iraq.
U.S. Soldier: Iran, Iraq, what & # 8217 ; s the difference.
The U.S. Soldiers leave.
Iraqi Soldier: Uh, I hate Americans, delight allow me kill them!
Hussein: No, no, you need to loosen up cat. Remember the program ; first we take over Canada, so we & # 8217 ; ll have the best of the female dad singers. After that we & # 8217 ; ll take over the U.S. , so Europe, so China, so Newfoundland, so the universe!
[ Laughter ]
Scott: What & # 8217 ; s so amusing?
Hussein: Nothing, relax brother.
Scott: Saddam, Terrance and Phillip are back in Canada.
Hussein: Oh, truly?
Scott: You promised me they & # 8217 ; d be gone for good. That was your portion of the deal.
Hussein: I changed my head. Pray that I don & # 8217 ; t alter it any farther.
The Iraqi Soldier chambers a unit of ammunition in his gun.
Scott: This trade & # 8217 ; s acquiring worse all the clip.
[ Terrance and Phillips House – 4:06 P.M. ]
Phillip: Hey Terrance, allow & # 8217 ; s watch American telecasting.
Terrance: Yes, we can acquire satellite provender from the U.S. and watch all their stupid Television shows.
Phillip: Oh expression, here & # 8217 ; s a show.
A Jerry Springer episode is on.
Chick: Well fuck you.
A battle breaks out.
Kraut: Here & # 8217 ; s our concluding slattern.
[ Laughter ]
Terrance: Stupid.
Phillip: God damn their Television shows are feeble.
Phillip: changes the channel.
Mephesto: The male parent of Eric Cartman is so & # 8230 ;
[ Laughter ]
Phillip: Expression at their cockamamie American caputs.
Terrance: They look like woodchucks.
Cartman: He & # 8217 ; s my male parent? ! ?
Phillip changes the channel.
CNN Newscaster: And in other intelligence, it appears that Saddam Hussein has eventually signed an understanding to allow the U.S. inspect his military operations. When asked if he would continue his side of the understanding, Hussein replied quote “ Hey, relax chap, you need a remainder cat. ”
Terrance: Hey Phillip, International Relations and Security Network & # 8217 ; t that the smelly gentleman we & # 8217 ; ve seen in images all over town?
Phillip: Yes, it is Terrance. Harmonizing to that newsy he & # 8217 ; s some sort of Turkish dictator.
Terrance: Well, we can & # 8217 ; t merely sit here and eat Kroff dinner and allow Canada be overrun by the Turks.
[ Phone ring ]
[ Laughter ]
Phillip: That fart sounded like a pealing phone Terrance.
Terrance: It certainly did Phillip.
[ Phone ring ]
Terrance: Oh delay, that is the phone.
Terrance answers the phone.
Terrance: Hello.
Scott: Terrance, this is Scott.
Terrance: Oh, hey, it & # 8217 ; s Scott.
Phillip: Tell him he & # 8217 ; s a smelly asshole.
Terrance: Phillip says & # 8216 ; hello & # 8217 ; Scott.
Scott: Merely close up and listen. You & # 8217 ; ve unleashed a monster unto Canada and merely you can acquire rid of him, even though I hate you and I wish you had malignant neoplastic disease.
Terrance: You are such a dick Scott.
Scott: You & # 8217 ; re a gumshoe.
Terrance: You & # 8217 ; re a gumshoe.
Scott: You & # 8217 ; re a gumshoe.
Terrance: You & # 8217 ; re a gumshoe.
Scott: You & # 8217 ; re a gumshoe.
Terrance: You & # 8217 ; re a gumshoe.
[ Silence ]
Scott: You & # 8217 ; re a gumshoe.
Terrance: You & # 8217 ; re a gumshoe.
Scott: The two of you are the most bothersome gumshoes in Canada. You give other Canadians a bad name, and if I had my manner & # 8230 ; .
Terrance: Oh, I & # 8217 ; m regretful Scott, can you keep on a minute?
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
Terrance: How do you like that Scott?
Scott: You son of a bitch, I & # 8217 ; ll acquire you if it & # 8217 ; s the last thing I & # 8230 ; .
Terrance: Oh delay, I have another call Scott. Can you hang on?
Scott: Certain.
[ Fart ]
Terrance: Oh, that was really smelly. He says hullo.
Scott: God damn it.
Terrance: Oh, wait a 2nd Scott.
Scott: Certain. I mean no. You listen to me, if you want to salvage Canada you & # 8217 ; ll run into me at Karl & # 8217 ; s Kroff Dinner eating house in half-an-hour.
[ Celine Dion ‘s House – 4:07 P.M. ]
Ugly Bob and Celine Dion are lying in bed.
Celine Dion: Oh Ugly Bob, I & # 8217 ; m so baffled. I love your personality, but you are so wretchedly ugly.
Ugly Bob: Possibly the babe will hold your face alternatively of mine.
Celine Dion: We can merely trust. I suppose we & # 8217 ; ll be all right every bit long as you keep that bag on your caput.
Some Iraqis flatboat into Celine & # 8217 ; s house.
Celine Dion: What & # 8217 ; s this? ! ?
Hussein: Hey at that place, my name & # 8217 ; s Saddam. I & # 8217 ; m a large fan of Polo. I & # 8217 ; ve been seeking a long clip for you Celine Dion.
Ugly Bob: Oh no you don & # 8217 ; T, she & # 8217 ; s my bitch.
Hussein: Hey, who are you?
Ugly Bob: I & # 8217 ; m Bob, but my friends name me Ugly Bob because I have the characteristics of a distorted burn victim.
Hussein: Truly, I thought all Candians looked likewise. Let me see.
Ugly Bob removes the bag.
[ Screams ]
Hussein: Wow, I & # 8217 ; m regretful cat. You know, I could bring around that face of yours.
Ugly Bob: You could?
Hussein: Certain, I merely necessitate a favour. There & # 8217 ; s a Candian football game tomorrow ; the Ottawa Rough-Riders against the Vancouver Roughriders. It & # 8217 ; s at that game that I will officialy turn the Candian flag over to my Persian one.
Celine Dion: What? ! ? Why? ! ?
Hussein: Hey, don & # 8217 ; t worry about that. Take a burden off. Don & # 8217 ; t think about it. Look over here.
Saddam points to a wall.
Hussein: All I need is for Celine Dion to sing our Persian national anthem at the game, to finalise my hostile coup d’etat of Canada. Whaddaya say?
Ugly Bob: Did you say & # 8216 ; hostile coup d’etat of Canada? & # 8217 ;
Hussein: No, no, loosen up there chap.
Celine Dion replaces the bag on Ugly Bob & # 8217 ; s caput.
[ Karl ‘s Kroff Dinner Palace – 4:36 P.M. ]
Terrance: Well, Scott said to run into him here, but he & # 8217 ; s non demoing up.
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
Terrance: Oh no.
Phillip: Well, while we & # 8217 ; rhenium waiting, why Don & # 8217 ; t we search for hoarded wealth?
Terrance: Oh, good thought. Let & # 8217 ; s hunt for hoarded wealth.
Terrance and Phillip get down looking about.
Scott: What are you idiot & # 8217 ; s making?
Terrance: We & # 8217 ; re looking for hoarded wealth.
Scott: Is that some sort of metaphor for a sort of hunt that can & # 8217 ; t be described?
Phillip: No, we & # 8217 ; re seeking for hoarded wealth.
Scott: Listen, I have an inside scoop. There & # 8217 ; s an Iraqi dictator who is softly and easy taking over Canada.
Terrance: Yes, you mean Saddam Smelly. We saw him on the telly.
Scott: Well, what are you two traveling to make aboot it?
Phillip: What do you intend?
Scott: It & # 8217 ; s your mistake that he & # 8217 ; s here. You brought the Iraqis back with you on your plane, when you rescued your kidnapped girl.
[ Gasp ]
Phillip: You mean we are to fault?
Scott: That & # 8217 ; s right, and now you must do damagess. Tomorrow, Saddam will seek to finalise his coup d’etat of Canada at the Rough-Riders Roughriders game. It will be your lone shooting at pass overing them all out. Here, take this.
Phillip: What is this?
Scott: It & # 8217 ; s a bomb. You must strap it to yourselves, travel to the game and give your lives to take out Saddam & # 8217 ; s minions.
Terrance: That sounds chilling.
Scott: Well, you must make it for Canada.
Phillip: For Canada Terrance.
Terance: For Canada Phillip.
Terrance and Phillip walk off with the bomb in manus.
Scott: Yes Terrance and Phillip, and when the dust is settled Canada will be rid of both the Iraqis and your immature fart wit.
[ Commercial ]
[ Terrance and Phillip ‘s House – 12:20 P.M. ]
Terrance: Well, Phillip, I & # 8217 ; m really sad that we have to decease for Canada.
Phillip: Yes, this bomb will blow us both to smithereens. But we truly have no pick. Merely our deceases can convey Canada life.
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
Terrance: That & # 8217 ; s smelly.
Phillip: Wait a minute, Terrance, that flatus gives me intermission.
Terrance: Why is that?
Phillip: That smelly Saddam Hussein, he uses source and chemical warfare, does he non?
Terrance: Yes, seemingly he does.
Phillip: Terrance, acquire the phone book, we must name every Canadian we can.
Terrance: Oh, Phillip, it sounds like you have an thought.
Phillip: I do Terrance.
Phillip begins dialing the phone.
Barky walks by.
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
[ Canada Stadium – 11:32 A.M. ]
Crippled Announcer: And the Rough-Riders are truly giving the Roughriders a tally for their money. All else aside, I must state that the Rough-Riders are merely outmatched by these Roughriders.
The game clock winds down to half-time.
The horn sounds.
Crippled Announcer: And that & # 8217 ; s traveling to take us to half-time. Be certain to lodge around for the half-time show, Saddam and the Electric Iraqis and a salutation to hostile coup d’etats.
A set Marches across the field.
Terrance: Well, I guess it & # 8217 ; s clip old friend.
Phillip: Yes, fix the qui vive.
Hussein: Hello to my Canadian friends. Everybody relax, take a remainder, set your pess up & # 8217 ; do those Canis familiariss are barking.
The crowd looks about confused.
Hussein: You may hold noticed some alterations to your state. Don & # 8217 ; t worry about that, the alterations will go on. I & # 8217 ; m here to denote one time and for all that Canada will now be known as New Baghdad. Kalookh Kalakh!
An Iraqi flag is raised in topographic point of the Canadian 1.
[ Gasp ]
Hussein: You will bow down to me as your swayer. You will obey my Torahs or you will be killed.
[ Laughter ]
Hussein: And now you will sing the Iraqi national anthem, or you will be stabbed in the caput.
Celine Dion: Shtut malakh shtut, inka Inca bruscht.
Terrance: Now Phillip?
Phillip: Now Terrance.
Terrance sounds his horn.
Everybody in the bowl puts on a respirator.
Hussein: Hey, what the snake pit is this?
Celine Dion: Frakh o shtut koolakh koolakh a shtut.
Farting takes topographic point on a stadium-wide graduated table, Moons abound.
A immense flatus cloud envelops the bowl.
Iraqi Soldier: They & # 8217 ; re utilizing chemical warfare, how could they?
Saddam falls off of the phase panting for breath, so dies.
The cloud dissipates.
The Iraqi flag falls, one once more uncovering the Maple Leaf.
Terrance: We did it Phillip, we destroyed the Turks.
Phillip: Oh, glorious twenty-four hours.
Person begins kicking Saddam in the caput.
Another kicks him in the buttocks, while yet another Begins leaping up and down on the cadaver.
Celine Dion and Ugly Bob take their respirators.
Celine Dion replaces the bag on Ugly Bob & # 8217 ; s caput.
A lady rakes Saddams arm clean off.
A fellow takes his caput off.
Celine Dion: Terrance, Terrance, you & # 8217 ; ve saved Canada.
Terrance: Oh, it was all Phillips thought.
Ugly Bob: God bless you Phillip.
Phillip: Don & # 8217 ; t touch me Ugly Bob.
Scott: Hey, what the snake pit happened, you were supposed to be blown up.
Phillip: We came up with a better program. You see Scott, after all your unfavorable judgment, it was break winding that saved Canada.
Scott: Oh, that is so juvenile.
Terrance: Hey Scott, do you like apples?
Scott: Of class.
[ Fart ]
Terrance: How do you like them apples?
[ Laughter ]
Scott: I hate you Terrance and Phillip! ! !
Terrance: Oh Celine Dion, you ne’er finished that national anthem.
Celine Dion: You & # 8217 ; re right Terrance, you & # 8217 ; re right.
Celine Dion takes the mike.
Celine Dion: O Canada!
Canadians: Our place and native land! True nationalist love in all thy boies command.With glowing Black Marias we see thee rise, The True North strong and free! From far and broad, O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.God maintain our land glorious and free! O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
[ Fart ]
[ Laughter ]
The credits axial rotation.
South Park Announcer: Who is Cartman & # 8217 ; s Father, find out on an all new South Park, in merely a few hebdomads.
[ five ]
Transcribed by Shannon & # 8216 ; BlackBart & # 8217 ; Greene
Copyright & # 169 ; 1998 Comedy Central
